Notting Hill Diary

Boris mulls over a 2,000 year “Job well done!”

In a move described as “Inevitable one day”, London’s flamboyant Mayor, Boris Johnson, announced that “London is now complete” and “as of Tuesday, September 1 2009 there will be no more need for the roadworks, building sites or other infrastructure change related hindrances that have blighted the lives of Londoners for centuries”.

“Since the Romans first settled here over 2,000 years ago our great city has been under constant construction”, he continued, “but today I am happy to announce that the work is complete and that cranes will no longer be a feature of our skyline because, well, they’ve finished everything!

“Londoners can pat themselves on the back and congratulate themselves that their two millennia of hard work means that the building industry can finally close up its offices.” he boyishly smirked.

“It is done! Finished!”, he exclaimed, jiggling his handsome mop of blonde hair in time to emphasise each point, “A fait accompli!” and then something in Latin which nobody really understood.

Johnson went on to explain that “People who come from cities that aren’t London smell funny and have one leg longer than the other.”, demonstrating the wry wit that has made him a popular figure across the nation.

The sinister road markings. What do they mean?

A warning to anyone living in London. Beware the pretty coloured paint markings on the roads or pavements near where you live, work or simply pass, for they presage gloom. Those innocuous looking dabs of paint are actually mystical signs that foretell doom. You life is about to be turned upside down for anything between a few days and a few weeks. For those innocent and pretty dashes are harbingers of the misery that is the ongoing effort to … well … do something to the gas supply I think.

Some parts of London that are still reeling from the turmoil caused by the roads being dug up to replace the water mains are again being subjected to the inconvenience of partially blocked off roads guarded by the dreaded temporary traffic lights.

My moustache

You might think that a guy with a moustache like mine would be only too happy to return to a time when traffic moved this slowly (personally I’d like to see a man with a flag walking in front of each vehicle), but the biggest problem is the unthinking way in which these roadworks have been implemented. For the past year or more the normally quiet streets of Notting Hill have been subjected to a series of these traffic control measures whose cycles are set at anything up to 10 minutes, that being 5 minutes each way. That’s a ridiculous amount of time to wait at a red light during which one car ambles in the opposite direction.

A singular portent of doom? Signals from an alien culture?

The situation is even worse if there is one or more side streets along the length of the obstruction. Lights are placed at the junctions, each with its own additional 5 minute delay. Yes, you seriously can wait up to 15 minutes to be aloud to travel the 50 or so yards of obstructed road. Bloody hell I’m starting to sound like Clarkson here. It’ll be stupid comments about foreigners next!

But you can’t blame a guy for not taking these things too seriously on a bike. In the past few months I’ve become an expert at jumping the kerb, riding on pavements and, when all else fails, simply jumping the lights. I’ve done it several times in front of cops, so it’s a fair bet that it’ll never be a problem. In any any if it’s good enough for Cameron …

Mick Jones’ Rock & Roll Library

Ideally you might have thought I’d be a bit more on the ball with this one and written about it before the world at large, but I’ve found it a difficult subject to approach, probably because I’ve been tripping over most of this junk for the best part of the last 25 years or more.

Mick is an unbelievable hoarder. On tour he’d be just as likely to buy some old piece of tat from a truck stop as he would a rare comic or record. The most amazing thing though is the condition in which he’s kept everything.

The library either gives a fascinating set of snapshots of popular culture of the last 30 odd years, or an insite into the bizarre psyche of a lifelong hoarder. You decide. I’m just as bad by the way, but I’m capable of keeping it all intact for very long. Plus I’m not Mick Jones, so nobody would be interested in seeing it. That’s why I’m overjoyed to note that a few items of mine that I thought I’d seen the last of years ago have turned up there.

Room after room of fascinating artifacts greet the visitor. At first they seem random, but soon a theme emerges. A time line of sorts is implied by the presence of items from or representing each of Mick’s bands, of which my current favourite must be a note from Joe scrawled on Royalton hotel notepaper. “Alright Mick, I give up. Call me later. Joe - 4:15pm” (sadly by the time I got back there with my camera phone it had disappeared).

A makeshift recording studio has been installed with the aim of documenting bands in anyway vaguely associated with Strummerville. It’s probably the only studio in the World who’s atmosphere is improved by the constant quiet rumble of cars running overhead on the Westway. By the way Rotten Hill Gang will be playing outside, under the Westway, on August 21, along with Tarus Trakker and Carbon Silicon.

I have many more photos which I’ll post at some point, for the benefit of those unable to get there themselves, but for those in or willing to travel to the area, pop in. It’s free and a convenient stop off point right by of the busiest part of Portobello road Market.

To catch this wonderful slice of contemporary history, head to 2 Acklam Road, (under the Westway where it crosses Portobello Road and above El Camino) Wednesays to Saturdays, 11am to 7pm until August 23.

Mick Jones and Gaz Mayall enjoy an instrospective moment in the studio area

Mulberry Street. Go for the pizza - go away again

I think it’s the mixed reviews I’ve read that caused me to delay visiting this scaled-down-New-York-diner-at-Notting-Hill-Prices, but Wifey and I are both big fans of pizzas¹ and we hadn’t read anything bad about them so we decided to give it a go.

If you haven’t heard, they do whopping great 20″² pizzas suitable for a family of 4, or in Wifey’s and my case, two. Now we’re particularly choosey about our pizzas. In general the simpler the better and, most importantly the base has to be just so.

Mulberry Street’s pizza is is indeed just so. Light, slightly more crusty around the edges with just a hint of the burning that might have taken place had it been allowed to cook for another 20s, the dough absorbs just the right amount of flavour from the toppings. Most of all I like the bits where trapped air have caused it to bubble up slightly. Then again what do I know? The Times gave it this particularly invective laden review.

I will say that the rest of the menu is disappointing, at least in terms of depth. Eggs Benedict/Florentine, for example, is nowhere to be found. Go there for the pizza and the pizza alone is my advice.

The blurb on their menu and website claims that they filter the water to make it exactly like New York water (yikes!), but whatever, it was enough to make Wifey, who bused to live there exlaim “It tastes just like New York pizza!”, so who am I to argue?

¹According to my calculations, a 20″ pizza has a greater surface area than 2 14″ pizzas
²Yes I know about the 100s and 100s of calories in every slice, but now that I cycle everywhere I can afford to stuff myself silly from time to time. Alright?

Rotten Hill Gang are happy to host the Rotten Hill Review at (I guess) our spiritual home, Inn on the Green, Friday’s from May 15 onwards. So far we May 15 and May 22 organised (I use the term loosely).

The line ups are as follows:
May 15:
Rotten Hill Gang
JC001
Adam Masterson
Taurus Trakker
Savage Nomands

May 22
The Trojans
Rotten Hill Gang
The Langley Sisters
JC001

Plus DJs and generally convivial atmosphere.

Don’t forget the moustache wax.

The new RHG logo designed by Daniel Collen

Rotten Hill Gang are playing at the Cobden Club, Kensal Road this Friday, Feb 27 2009. I can do no better than to quote the official words from the promoter:

Friday 27th Feb (8-2am)

Featuring an explosive cocktail of delicious live acts and DJs,
Eclectica Fusion is coming back in the Cobden’s Gran Hall
to mix diverse musical flavours in to a mouth-watering Night!!!

LIVE MUSIC

ROTTEN HILL GANG
Experimental Funky Hip-Hop with a rocky edge
www.myspace.com/officialrottenhillgang

BELLA CHERRY
Funk Rock 5 Piece with driving melodies and groovy undertones!
www.myspace.com/bellacherrym

HELLA CHOLLA
Indie Pop with Soul and Latin influences
www.myspace.com/hellacholla

SUSANA LANG-LENTON
Latin,Jazz
www.myspace.com/susanalanglenton

DJ MEJOR

Doors open 8pm

Entry £5 at the door

The lovely Lenka. We wish her a speedy recovery

It’s been a quiet January here in Rotten Hill City, but we haven’t been totally inactive. For a start we have the makings of a few new songs and we’ve had requests to play various gigs over the coming months.

The first of these is this coming Tuesday, Feb 10 at Movida, a club so cool I can’t even find their address on their website, but it’s on Argyll St, just by Oxford Circus station. We’ll be on around 10pm. I’ll post a flyer as soon as I get one.

Next up is our old haunt, Inn on the Green on Friday Feb 13, where we’ll be playing with some old friends, The Self, The Dirty Curtains, JC 001 and Taurus Tracker. It’s a benefit gig for the lovely Lenka, one of the bar staff there. All money raised will go to aid her speedy recovery and we wish her all the best.

I won’t bore you with gigs further into the future, but interestingly I see that some of them are being billed as “Mick Jones’ new band”, which must be a bit of a shock to Tony James! The truth is that Mick is good enough to contribute to RHG whenever he’s available and we’re most grateful, but Carbon Silicon is his band. What we can’t guarantee is that whenever you see a particular gig of ours advertised specific members will turn up. It’s more of a squad with interchangeable members. Clear?

Oh and in that spirit, the Fun Lovin’ Criminals’ Huey Morgan is jumping into the fray on guitar. We’ve known Huey since they played with us (by which I mean BAD II) at a couple of gigs in New York in ‘94 and it’s a pleasure to have him living over here in Rotten Hill City now.

Now it’s time to get back to our kitchen renovation project. We need to find some engineered oak for the floor at a reasonable price today if possible so all suggestions welcome!

Movida - too cool to publish their address

Movida
8-9 Argyll St
Soho

Inn on the Green
3-5 Thorpe Close
London W10 5XL
Tel: 0208 962 5757

Excuse me, but YADDA YADDA YADDA

I can barely remember a single year out of the past 30 years when Carnival hasn’t been threatened with cancellation or at the very least, re-routing. Each time it seems really seriously and each time it leads to nothing. Nada.

Yes, there were a record amount of arrests last year, but that was completely accounted for by the Police making the sensible decision to take pre-emptive precautions rather than allowing people to waltz boldly through with knives (much as the metal detectors on public transport pained me). And yes, there was some trouble at the end that I and the rest of Rotten Hill Gang got caught up in.

Those things aren’t good. In fact they’re very bad. But those and much worse things have happened before and the Police are now better at handling them.

My advice - don’t worry. Carnival will happen again this year and every year for the forseeable future.

Hawkwind - did punk ever happen?

Do I care much about Hawkwind? Well not very much is the honest answer, them having been consigned to the “But surely punk got rid of all that pompous nonsense” pile by my generation in their teens.

I will, however, admit to knowing little about them beyond Silver Machine and they did play their first gig 40 years ago this year in Notting Hill, so let’s be charitable about them for a moment for the following reasons:

1) They played their first gig 40 years ago this coming August 29 (as a band with no proper name) at All Saints in Notting Hill.

2) They had Lemmy on bass for three years (’72 to ‘75). We all like Lemmy don’t we?

3) Their 40th anniversary gig is to be at the lovely Porchester Hall and B.A.D did one of their earlyish gigs there (1986). I was a roadie back then. Well more precisely I was a computer programmer during the day, then I rushed along to Porchester Hall after work to sit at the side of the stage looking busy.

4) You could make a day of it, going for a session in Porchester’s Turkish baths before the gig.

That’s about it really, four rather specious reasons for giving them a mention. One day I’ll get round to writing about the music scene in the area (Pink Fairies et al) around 40 years ago. then again one day I’ll do a lot of things I keep promising to do.

While paying a congestion charge just now (it feels rather like being gently mugged) I happened to notice that
from December 25 to Jan 1 there will be no congestion charge.

So - er - wait - having said that it won’t be possible to repeal the corn laws remove the western extension for 18 months, what you’re now telling us that, actually, you can remove the charge any time you feel like it. Which is it?

Come on BoJo, it’s great that you’ve turned conventional wisdom as to which party listens to people on its head and we (Londoners) feel like our relationship has got off to a good start, but you’re sending us mixed messages and we’re confused as to where you see “us” going.